The Announcement
by Dawnstorm101
Summary: Jim and Carol have been trying to have a child for months, and their efforts finally pay off. But the triumph comes with a dose of dread that leaves Jim floundering.


A/N: I should not be writing this. I should be writing many other things. But I needed some stress relief and this did the trick, and, well, I couldn't leave it unfinished, nor could I leave it un-posted. So here, have a Kircus story with a dose of feels.

* * *

Carol strode into the medbay, lightly rubbing her stomach. Butterflies flew within it, their fluttering nerves and excitement worsening the nausea she already felt. "Len?" she called out.

Immediately, the doctor emerged from his office, holding a cup of coffee. His expression lightened from boredom to happiness with a tint of concern when he spotted her. "Are you feeling all right, Carol?"

"That depends on why I'm feeling nauseas," Carol replied, trying to squelch the hope budding within her. She had had false alarms before – this would likely be no different.

The same hesitant hope appeared on Len's face as he set his coffee down and gestured at a biobed. "Have a seat and we'll find out."

Carol hopped onto the biobed and removed her hand from her stomach, resisting the urge to drum her fingers impatiently. Len picked up a medical tricorder and ran it over her, squinting at the readings.

A grin broke over his face.

Carol gasped and leaned forward to read the tricorder, the butterflies exploding into a wave of hope. "We did it," she breathed, almost not believing the tricorder.

"You're five weeks along," Len announced, grinning like an idiot. "Congratulations."

Carol leapt off the biobed and flung her arms around Len. "We did it," she repeated, louder and more enthusiastically. "We finally did it!"

Len hugged her right back. "Go make Jim the happiest man on this ship."

Suddenly, a different kind of trepidation flooded over her.

-LLAP-

She hesitated outside their quarters.

They had been trying for months, agreeing to it shortly after Nyota announced her own pregnancy and decision to raise her daughter on the ship – if she could retain her career while raising a child, why couldn't Carol? Starting a family wasn't exactly something either Jim or Carol had ever considered until then, as dedicated to their careers as they both were. And, considering his history, Jim had never thought he would reach this point in his life – happy and healthy amidst his family. He might not admit it, but he was repeatedly awed and grateful that they were all there. And he was ecstatic to have the opportunity to have a child.

But that prospect, Carol knew, accompanied a special kind of anxiety in Jim's case. Even now, after months of assurances that he really, truly wanted a child, Carol worried he had only agreed to make her happy.

 _Time to find out._

Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside.

Unsurprisingly, she found him throwing on his uniform, almost late for his shift. "Hi, Carol," he greeted distractedly, pushing his arm through a sleeve.

Carol shook her head in amused exasperation. "Come here, you plonker," she ordered.

Jim moved to her side. For a moment Carol thought he was limping, until she noticed that he only wore one boot. She dragged the other one over with her foot and began smoothing the wrinkles out of his shirt.

"I promised Janeway I wouldn't be late today," he sighed, referring to the lieutenant commander who ran the bridge during the night shift. "He has a date in a few minutes."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," Carol scolded. "And he shouldn't plan a date so soon after the start of your shift."

Jim laughed. "Good points. So where have you been?"

Carol couldn't quite bring herself to look at his face. "I went to see Len."

Instantly, Jim leaned back, searching her expression; he pressed a hand to her forehead, checking for fever. "Are you all right?"

Still excited by the news, she couldn't help the soft smile from growing on her face as she looked up at him. "I'm pregnant, Jim."

His eyes grew wider than the saucer section, a million emotions flickering through his expression. After a long, silent moment, he settled on a mixture of ecstasy and terror. "Pregnant?" he rasped.

Carol nodded, taking his hand and holding it tight. "Five weeks along."

Jim swept her into a hug, but not before she saw him glance at a photo on their nightstand. It was a candid shot of his father and mother on the _Kelvin._ Her belly was huge – Carol found herself hoping she wouldn't get that big – and they were laughing as if they didn't have a care in the world. A few days later, Jim was born and George was killed.

"You _will_ be here to raise our child," Carol whispered fiercely, hugging him tightly.

For another long moment, Jim just held her. He buried his face in her hair and let a hand slide down to touch her belly.

"I love you," he finally murmured. "Both of you."

Then he left, ignoring her attempts to call him back.

-LLAP-

Jim stared into space, his legs drawn into his chair. The beeping equipment, Sulu and Chekov's joking, Spock and Uhura's discussion of parenting styles, the other crewmembers' chatter – it all seemed to fade away, and yet he was hyperaware of it all.

 _Five weeks. Which means she's due in thirty-five weeks. Which means-_

 _Stop it, you idiot. You're not your dad. This should be one of the happiest days of your life, not a doomsday omen._

But he couldn't help drinking in every sight and sound on his bridge, his fingers brushing absently over his chair.

"…ptain? Jim!"

Jim jumped, surprised by Spock standing at his shoulder. "Yes, Commander?" he asked, swallowing back a stammer.

Spock's eyebrow twitched as if it wanted to rise, but he suppressed it. "May I speak with you in private?"

"Uh, sure," Jim agreed, stiffly unfolding his legs. "The bridge is yours, Sulu," he tossed over his shoulder as they entered the turbolift.

"Deck 3," Spock ordered the turbolift.

"Where are we going?" Jim asked as it whirred into motion.

"To visit Amanda," Spock stated simply.

"Um, why are we visiting your daughter in the middle of our shift?" Jim inquired.

The doors slid open, and Spock gestured for Jim to lead the way to Rec Room 3, where part of the room had been converted into a daycare staffed by off-duty crewmembers who were more than happy to volunteer to care for Amanda. _And my child now, I suppose._ Jim did so and turned inside, smiling softly upon seeing Ensign Paris playing with little Amanda. Jim smiled softly at the baby, her bronze skin and pointed ears a perfectly adorable mix of her parents.

Paris looked up. "Captain, Commander," he greeted. "I wasn't expecting you."

"It was a short-notice decision, Ensign," Spock informed him, reaching out to open the door to the pen. "May we have a minute alone?"

"Yes, sir," Paris complied, carefully standing and handing Amanda to Spock before leaving the room. She immediately reached for Spock's ears, and his expression softened, his mouth almost daring to crack a smile, as he caught her tiny hand so she played with his finger instead.

Jim chuckled. "I swear she gets cuter every day."

"An illogical statement, but somehow true," Spock agreed, watching her like she was his whole world. Then he blinked and looked back at Jim. "Would you care to hold her?"

"Sure," Jim answered, carefully taking the girl from Spock, reminding himself, as he always had to, that she was supposed to feel a little colder due to her Vulcan physiology and it didn't mean she was sick. She squealed happily and snuggled into his warmth.

Spock waited until she was comfortably settled before speaking. "Do you wish to tell me what is wrong, Jim?"

The baby suddenly felt a little heavier as Jim glanced suspiciously at his first officer and their surroundings. "Something tells me you already know that."

Spock's gaze didn't waver. "Carol told Nyota and me. But I would like for you to tell me."

Jim sighed. "Carol's pregnant."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks. And I- I know I should be happy, and I really am, but I just-" He paused, biting his lip. "But I'm _terrified."_

The Vulcan nodded, thoughtfully watching his daughter for a moment. "I was hesitant as well when Nyota expressed her desire to have a child," Spock admitted, clasping his hands behind his back. "For one, we were unsure if it was even possible, as many hybrids are infertile. But more importantly, I would not wish my conflicted childhood upon any child, let alone my own."

"Spock, you know we would take care of her. And any bullies she might have," Jim assured him instantly, holding Amanda a little tighter.

Spock arched his eyebrow challengingly.

"Which is your point," Jim concluded with a faint sigh.

Spock nodded. "It is unlikely you will suffer the same fate as your father, but if you should be killed, your child would not want for love. There is an entire command crew, plus two biological families, that would take care of it without hesitation."

Jim closed his eyes and cradled Amanda, allowing his mind to wonder if she were his own child. Would it be a girl, a perfect replica of her mother? Or would it follow Jim's path, a replica of his father? Or would it be like Amanda, a beautiful fusion of both parents?

 _I guess I'll find out in a few months._

 _And I_ will _be there, even if I have to hide under a rock until it's born._

As if sensing that his work was done, Spock took Amanda back, leaving Jim free to find Carol.

-LLAP-

Carol eyed her equipment warily, suddenly having to force herself to use it, suddenly very aware of the radiation it gave off. Len had told her that the baby would be perfectly fine, but she really didn't want to risk it. She was so distracted by such thoughts that she didn't notice the door to her lab slide open.

"Sweetheart?"

She spun around. "Jim!"

He looked around her cluttered workspace, probably wondering how she managed to keep their quarters so clean in comparison. "I've been thinking about it – well, Spock kind of made me – and I really am excited." He reached out and took her hand. "I don't know how long I have with you both, but I'll treasure every second of it."

Carol squeezed his hand, smiling up at him through bittersweet tears. "I know you will, my love. I know you will."

-LLAP-

They tried to keep it a secret from everyone else until the end of the first trimester, but it was nearly impossible to hide even a small secret from their tight-knit family. When Carol suddenly started avoiding her lab a bit, Jim started leaving her off certain away missions, and both started spending a lot more time with Amanda, they all started figuring it out pretty quickly. So the only people left to tell at that point were their biological families. Carol's mom wasn't there when they called, so they left a message telling her to call back, but Jim's mom picked up almost instantly.

"Hey Mom," Jim greeted as her face flickered into view.

She smiled as she saw her son and daughter-in-law snuggled against each other. "Good orning sweetheart, Carol."

"How's it going?" Jim asked.

"The boys are up to their usual tricks and Jane won't stop reading every medical book she can," Mom reported affectionately. "How about you? Any interesting away missions in the past week?"

"Ah, no, but we do have news," Jim replied, powering up his PADD. "You may want Sam there."

Mom called out for his brother and he came upstairs in a moment, leaning down to look into the camera. "Hey guys."

"What news?" Mom demanded before Jim or Carol could greet him in return.

"Well…" Jim began, glancing at his wife. Carol picked up Jim's PADD, now displaying a picture of her latest ultrasound, and aimed it at the camera.

Mom screamed and jumped up to hug Sam.

He stumbled back. "I'll tell you congratulations when I can breathe again," he wheezed, patting Mom's back. "This is her third time, you'd think she'd be used to it."

Mom released Sam just long enough to slap him. "You wait until your kids are telling you that you're a grandfather."

Sam paled. "May that be far, far in the future."

Jim laughed.

Suddenly, Mom let go of Sam and looked back at Jim, her tone fiercely protective. "I want you back at Earth when this baby is born, all right?"

"I'll do my best, Mom," Jim promised. He looked down at Carol, their hands resting together atop her slightly rounded belly. "I'll do my best to be there."


End file.
